Ordinary .This is my word for the day.
Thinking about it brings forward an image of the ones we call ‘primitive’ living content and happily in a thick forest carpeting the lands.All seems ordinary and yet, all seems right.
What I mean by ordinary is possibly the idea of living a modest life.A life that is driven by less desires and wants .That is my utopia; my place of ideal perfection.
Everyday I look at myself, I see this unquenchable want for materialistic things.I see myself aiming for goal after goal and as i tick one after the other, I do not feel complete.Instead, I revert back to this cycle all over again.This cycle, that makes me crave for all that I do not have and at the same time overly protective and ,honestly, oh so stupidly proud of the fact that I could achieve a goal that others haven’t or couldn’t.
This cycle seems meaningless , sickening and unescapable and yet, it is profound in the discovery of my being.
Perhaps this is how Capitalism would define its beginnings if it were actually alive.A slow yet deadly beginning to the pursuit of great wants and the decay of the ordinary.
I admit that I contradict a part of myself in this whole post.I am a product of capitalism.I am all for the great discoveries, the great movements, the great everything ! But a part of me longs to be content for once – to be happy in just being and not worrying too much as to how i can achieve this many goals by this many years.
When I think of the ones I once saw to be ‘primitive’,I realised that they were ,in a way, better off than anyone I’ve ever met or seen.Even with the abundance of potential to create and to be ‘higher’ than the rest, the hunters and gatherers just got what they needed from nature and proceeded with life.No unnecessary tension; no unnecessary competition.Just plain living.
As i write about my Utopia, I can help but find it funny as to how this longing itself defeats my need to move away from my wants.In pursuing the ordinary, i create a goal.But i want this to someday day be my only goal.My last goal.