The antisocial

As i sit down to write this first entry, the word that established a firm grip on my mind was this,Anti-social.

I had an unplanned brunch with friends i’d tag as close and one reminded me of how secluded i’d become.That i was no longer outgoing and full of energy around people i’d just met- that i had changed.I’d heard this from more than a fair share of people i’d come across, and i wonder….is this really who i am seen as now?The anti-social?

So here i am trying to make sense of this word as it is placed before me-as a partial link to my profile name and as a tag.I’ve long thought about how comforting that word sounds to me more than what it may imply through others and perhaps thats what i’m trying to make sense of in this post.

The word feels safe and close.For me,It doesn’t imply a complete shutoff from everything .Rather, it makes me think of a closed box of all that is important and leaving behind the carcass of the unimportant, the fading.

I see the world as a place of connections but i also see that not all connections last.That some have immediate endings from quick “hi’s” and quite frankly i’m thankful for them. Dragging them around would be cruel to all parties involved and i would much rather just let things slide as they are supposed to rather than make them skid quite painfully to the inevitable.Cruel as it may sound, this is also what i think of when i see the word antisocial.

As you may or may not have noticed, i have moved from writing the word with a hyphen to one without. Many would chose to hyphenate the word but for me personally, i prefer it being this one single component.I suppose this is my way of sorting the dilemma of looking at the hyphenated word as something threatening and wrong.That it may somehow make soft the hard ‘Anti’ that comes before the diminishing social.This whole word then, feels to me as something open to interpretation and i find comfort in that.

For now, this is all in have stuck in my head of this word .There will be so many interpretations to this word and i’m glad that in the future i’ll probably have more to write of this than i do now.

So, for the time being,I put forward to you, in written, a string of (perhaps) unrelated, boring, or simply quite stupid sentences in culmination to a word i just had ringing in my head.

And, for now, i bid adieu …..until i think and brood about other words that might just pop and make me ,nay, force me,to write.